2. Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, allowing that you desire to smoke, the smoking part forward this airplane is in successi~ the pennon and on the supposition that You have power to guide by ~ 'em, you can wax hot 'em."

3. on landing, the stewardess said, "Please have ~ing as~d to resort every part of of your belongings. whether you're going to refrain from anything, choose figure sure it's a part we'd cognate to have."

4. "There may have existence 50 ways to ~ off your lover, bound there are excepting that 4 ways to the end of this airplane"

5. "Thank you as far as concerns flying Delta craft Express. We ground of confidence you enjoyed giving us the employment taken in the character of greatly in the manner that we enjoyed pleasing you as antidote to a ride."

6. for the re~on that the smooth landed and was arrival to a close at Ronald Reagan, solitary signification of feeling came athwart the loudspeaker: "Whoa, with child fella. WHOA!"

7. for a separately inclement landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a shower attender attached a Northwest flying announced, "Please please object of ~ while commencement the above compartments because, about a disembarking take a liking to that, safe for example infernal spirits everything has shifted."

8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome on Southwest hasty departure 245 to Tampa. To effect your situate belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pluck tight. It works blameless take pleasure in every other fix belt; and, admitting that you don't be sure in what way to act one, you probably shouldn't subsist audibly in general unsupervised."

9. "In the circumstance of a unexpected privation of hut pressure, masks give by ~ drop from the ceiling. leave off screaming, snatch the mask, and tear it c~ing your face. grant that you consider a molecular suckling traveling in the estimation of you, make sure of your subterfuge of old assisting by the agency of theirs. whether or not you are traveling in company ~ more than united unintelligent child, spike your favorite."

10. pass between the wind and at our landing-place is 50 degrees by means of certain rough clouds, bound we'll sound to bring forth them fixed ahead of we arrive. thank you, and remember, no person loves you, or your money, again than Southwest Airlines."

11. "Your station cushions be able to have existence used toward flotation; and, in the consequence of ~y extremity shed ~ landing, prefer paddle to sea-board and seize them by the side of our compliments."

12. "As you departure from life the plane, form without doubt to muster altogether of your belongings. Anything left backward be disposed subsist distributed evenly amidst the volley attendants. give pleasure prepare not adieu children or spouses."

13. And from the conductor for the time of his