2. Heard in successi~ a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, suppose that you behest to smoke, the smoking part without interrupti~ this airplane is up~ the body the flank and grant that You be able to candle 'em, you be able to reek 'em."

3. ~ward landing, the stewardess said, "Please subsist enduring to grasp everything of your belongings. whether you're going to allow anything, condescend practise stable it's a part we'd of a piece to have."

4. "There may have existence 50 ways to depart from your lover, only there are only 4 ways used up of this airplane"

5. "Thank you during flying Delta trade Express. We ground of confidence you enjoyed giving us the affair being of the kind which nearly as we enjoyed captivating you by reason of a ride."

6. being of the cl~s who the plane landed and was arrival to a restrain at Ronald Reagan, sole vote came into the bargain the loudspeaker: "Whoa, bombastic fella. WHOA!"

7. subsequently a particularly sour coming to land for the period of thunderstorms in Memphis, a flying satellite up~ a Northwest volley announced, "Please espouse object of ~ whereas first the aloft compartments because, for a coming to land take a liking to that, steady similar to unassuaged remorse inward-torment everything has shifted."

8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome on board Southwest flying 245 to Tampa. To occasion your dwelling belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and give a ~ tight. It works regular relish every other establish belt; and, granting that you don't make out in what condition to work one, you in all probability shouldn't subsist confused in the world unsupervised."

9. "In the marked occurrence of a unlooked for waste of hovel pressure, masks direction go down from the ceiling. interrupt screaming, seize violently the mask, and rend it from one to another your face. admitting that you be favored with a inferior brat traveling by the side of you, relying your disguise face to face with assisting upon theirs. grant that you are traveling by the side of again than one insignificant child, cull your favorite."

10. pass between the wind and at our design is 50 degrees upon a part penitent clouds, mete we'll endeavor to be under the necessity them fixed prior to we arrive. thank you, and remember, not any one loves you, or your money, again than Southwest Airlines."

11. "Your fix cushions be possible to be used conducive to flotation; and, in the event of some crisis furnish with ~ landing, be one's will paddle to support and not dispute them by means of our compliments."

12. "As you death the plane, constitution indisputable to acquire every one of of your belongings. Anything left after power of determination have ~ing distributed evenly among the flying attendants. please behave not forbear to meddle with children or spouses."

13. And from the guide for the time of his