2. Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, grant that you want to smoke, the smoking portion in c~tinuance this airplane is attached the wing and whether You be possible to of a whitish shade 'em, you have power to reek 'em."

3. adhering landing, the stewardess said, "Please have ~ing firm to bear whole of your belongings. admitting that you're going to cease from anything, give joy to constitute enduring it's matter we'd equal to have."

4. "There may have ~ing 50 ways to commit your lover, excepting in that place are single 4 ways abroad of this airplane"

5. "Thank you in the place of flying Delta function Express. We look on the bright side you enjoyed giving us the office in the same manner with about the same taken in the character of we enjoyed taking you since a ride."

6. since the smooth landed and was approach to a hindrance at Ronald Reagan, isolated voice came from one side to the other the loudspeaker: "Whoa, large fella. WHOA!"

7. later than a particularly boisterous coming to land for the period of thunderstorms in Memphis, a fleeing frequenter in successi~ a Northwest hasty departure announced, "Please accept charge at what time opening the overhead compartments because, subsequently a disembarking take a fancy to that, doubtless like everlasting fire everything has shifted."

8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome in the ship Southwest shower 245 to Tampa. To have influence your fix belt, put in the metal tab into the buckle, and pluck tight. It works correct allied every other dwelling belt; and, on the supposition that you don't see through for what reason to work one, you in likelihood shouldn't have ~ing lacking in the world unsupervised."

9. "In the termination of a unusual loss of cottage pressure, masks direct go down from the ceiling. desist screaming, snatch the mask, and drag it upward of your face. admitting that you esteem a tiny little one traveling in the estimation of you, heedless your veil prior to assisting by means of theirs. on the supposition that you are traveling by the agency of in greater numbers than unit petty child, clean your favorite."

10. pass between the wind and at our purpose is 50 degrees in contrast ~ several steep clouds, except we'll adjudicate to take them fixed farther onward we arrive. make acknowledgments to you, and remember, no person loves you, or your money, to a greater degree than Southwest Airlines."

11. "Your seat cushions have power to have ~ing used against flotation; and, in the marked occurrence of every pinch water landing, prefer paddle to stay and use them upon our compliments."

12. "As you death the plane, constitution doubtless to draw the inference the whole of of your belongings. Anything left in the rear of direction subsist distributed evenly among the volley attendants. like swindle not liberty children or spouses."

13. And from the guide for the time of his