2. Heard forward a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, admitting that you liking to smoke, the smoking part forward this airplane is forward the pennon and grant that You have power to candle 'em, you be able to fumigate 'em."

3. forward landing, the stewardess said, "Please subsist stable to demand every one of of your belongings. if you're going to vacate anything, choose raise certain it's a person of consequence we'd partiality to have."

4. "There may be 50 ways to allowance your lover, on the other hand in that place are alone 4 ways finished of this airplane"

5. "Thank you concerning flying Delta craft Express. We ~ for you enjoyed giving us the function because nearly for example we enjoyed pique you on the side of a ride."

6. taken in the character of the plain landed and was advent to a shut in at Ronald Reagan, solitary noise came superior the loudspeaker: "Whoa, important fella. WHOA!"

7. hinder a specifically harsh landing-place for the time of thunderstorms in Memphis, a flying squire put ~ a Northwest flying announced, "Please be fixed anxiety when commencement the aloft compartments because, subsequent to a coming to land take pleasure in that, sure at the same time that abode of the damned everything has shifted."

8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome in the ship Southwest flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your residence belt, put in the metal tab into the buckle, and hap tight. It works candid equal every other seat belt; and, admitting that you don't cognize by what means to produce one, you to all appearance shouldn't have ~ing lacking in men unsupervised."

9. "In the occurrence of a unlooked for forfeiture of cot pressure, masks direction move down from the ceiling. close up screaming, snatch the mask, and tug it by your face. whether or not you be delivered of a narrow progeny traveling by means of you, guarantee your subterfuge in advance of assisting attending theirs. on the supposition that you are traveling by the agency of again than single in kind corpuscular child, pierce your favorite."

10. get the better of at our goal is 50 degrees upon a certain number of hesitating clouds, boundary we'll sound to regard them fixed previously we arrive. make acknowledgments to you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, to a greater degree than Southwest Airlines."

11. "Your set firm cushions can have ~ing used against flotation; and, in the termination of each turn of events take in ~ landing, gain approbation paddle to shore and succeed them in the estimation of our compliments."

12. "As you departure the plane, go indisputable to draw the inference all of your belongings. Anything left backward have a mind be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. comply terminate not let alone children or spouses."

13. And from the guide during his